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Monday
Aug302010

The environments you create for yourself

A couple weeks ago I wrote about how certain environments help us be successful in achieving what we want to within the timeframes that we set ourselves.  The point of that piece was how we can identify  environments that have the values, support and habits that help us promote the behaviours that we may be struggling with.

After I wrote this piece I wondered what about the environment that we have control of in our everyday life? That piece was about how others can influence us to make better decisions for ourselves but what can we do to create environments that are better for us?

This got me thinking back to a time when my daughter and I seemed to always be going head to head when she got home from school. Every day she would come home and I would ask her how her day was. Because she is at an age where Dad is no longer cool the answer I always got was, ‘it was ok’. I got frustrated with this non responsive answer and we would seem to be at heads for the next hour or so. This got tiring. I decided that I had to change my approach so I thought about what kind of environment my daughter like to come home to.

Over the next couple days I stopped whatever it was that I was doing fifteen minutes before she got home from school, I made her a nice healthy snack and I put her itunes playlist on the stereo so her favorites songs were playing. When she arrived home I didn’t instantly bug her about her day. I just told her that it was great to see her and that I’d love to chat when she had a chance. The effect of doing these simple little things made a huge difference to our relationship. Suddenly she would approach me to have a chat and our afternoon time together didn’t start on the wrong foot.

Look at the different environments that you have in your life that aren’t delivering the effects that you want. What kind of feelings or energy do they create for you? Once you have identified them try to recognise the adjustments you need to make that deliver the energy you want. These small adjustments can have a massive effect on the energy you bring to your life. 

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Reader Comments (4)

ANy advice on getting 2 young boys into bed before 9pm every night?

August 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

I think it's about setting up well a head of time when bed time will be. At around 8pm let them know that they will be going to bed at that time, then let them know what they will have to do before this time. I think it's good to give a reward with bed, like the can keep the lights on if they read.

I think with kids you have to give them time to be successful and you have to prepare them for it. When they are doing the right thing give them positive reinforcement around the behavior that they have done well. Be specific here, e.g. 'Well done Sue for remembering to brush your teeth.'

I think with all this stuff it's about you being committed as a parent. Make sure you put good energy to helping them learn the pattern that you are trying to teaching them.

I'm no expert on kids, these are just my ideas from experience. Hope this helps.

Bevan ;-)

September 2, 2010 | Registered CommenterBevan James Eyles

Bevan, completely agree! I'll have to read more of your stuff...David

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDC

A great to post to read...

December 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

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