You're not bad

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine asked me to have a chat with their sister who was overweight and struggling with exercise. To be honest, going into the conversation with her I thought I would easily be able to help her find some motivation and direction. This is what I’m good at, I motivate people in health and fitness. 

We meet at a local cafe and sat outside under the beautiful spring sun. Once the coffees were ordered I asked her about her fitness history. She started telling me how she was quite athletic at high school but once she started university the extra demands meant she had to drop something and exercise was the first thing to go. I kept asking her questions to help give me more of an insight into her situation. 

As the conversation continued and as she opened up to me more her facial expressions started to change, she now presented a person that had terrible self loathing. It was hard for her to talk this subject but she was being brave, maybe because it had gotten so hard. When it was time for me to give some advice she began rejecting anything I offered, she would quickly come back at me with a reason why my advice wouldn’t work for her. It took me a while to realise that I wasn’t getting through.  Then a light bulb lit up in my head. My eyes slowly meet hers and I said ‘you’re not a bad person because you are overweight and struggle with exercise’. She instantly broke down and started crying.  

The sad thing was, this woman was hugely successful in so many areas of her life but because she lacked success in this one area she felt she was a bad person. I am not a physiologist, but I do feel it is important to say that if you struggle with exercise and nutrition – this does not make you a bad person, you just have some habits that you need to address.

If you feel this way, try to get some help to remove the negative feelings you have about yourself and aim to consciously remove the “I’m a bad person” label from your thoughts. 
Remember it’s not the whole you, this is just one area that you can improve on, and you can do it!

Bevan Eyles